‘Bob Slydell: “Looks like you’ve been missing an awful lot of work lately.”
Peter Gibbons: “Well, I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it, Bob!”
(All chuckle)’
John C. McGinley and Ron Livingston in Office Space
Over the course of the last several days, I have used my wily wits to legitimately get out of work. This is cause for celebration. Now, I know what you’re thinking. If work is so boring and I am so clever, why don’t I just play hooky or “catch” a “virus” like … I don’t know, what’s going around? The flu? SARS? Tuberculosis? The answer, my friend, is written in the wind—or rather the screenplay to Office Space.
Bob Slydell: If you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Bob Slydell: Great.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door--that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh--after that I sorta space out for an hour.
Bob Porter: Da-uh? Space out?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.
What I’m trying to say is I can just as easily do nothing at work as do nothing at home, so I might as well get paid for doing nothing. See what I’m saying, G? (Re: “G” I’m trying out some different phrases to see how they work. Look also for “thuggin” and “my posse.” If you would like to comment, install a guestbook for my technologically-handicapped ass).
Anyway. As I was saying: legitimate absences. Monday I had an eye appointment in the afternoon, and therefore only worked for about 3 hours at the office. For once, I was grateful for my decaying eyesight. (Which, incidentally, are not so decaying. It turns out when they say “replace contacts every twelve months” they MEAN twelve months, not nineteen). I had an hour delay getting here Tuesday because … well, there’s no reason. I just didn’t want to come in as early as usual. Sue me. No one around here cares what time I come in and frankly, I don’t think anyone would notice or say anything if I showed up at 5:29 and left at 5:30. Wednesday, severe thunderstorms + overprotective father = no driving until the weather is clear = happy Rixie. Thursday, lunched with Dad and didn't get back to the office for quite some time. Today, well after getting certificates to all the kids for the last day of swimming lessons and packing so I can spend the weekend in Iowa City, as well as stopping at Little Ceasar's for an extended lunch, I imagine I'll only be able to put in four hours or so. Shucks! Unfortunately, it looks like a full day Monday, DAGnammit! Oh well, these things happen right? I’ll just pencil in extra spacing out time between the hours of 3 and 4 o’clock.
