Putting up the Tree '06

Dad: Kids! Supper's ready!
Mom: After we eat, I want Brennan and Nathan to bring in the Christmas tree from the garage.
Brennan: No.
Mom: Why not? Remember, it's already set up with the lights and tinsel on it.
Tara: Already set up? Don't you mean "never taken apart after last year."
Mom: Semantics. Whatever.
Brennan: No.
Mom: Why not?
Brennan: Because we don't want to.
Nathan: I don't mind.
Brennan: Shut up, Nathan.
Nathan: Okay.
Me: I'll do your dishes, Brennan, if you bring in the tree.
Brennan: Why don't you bring in the tree?
Me: Because I don't want to.
Mom: She can't bring in the tree. She won't be able to.
Me: Excuse me? I happen to be--
Tara: Freakishly strong?
Me: Exactly. [Turning to Mom] I'm very strong, Mom. I could TOTALLY bring in that tree.
Mom: You're too short.
Me: Too short?!? Didn't you bring that tree out to the garage last year? And you're, what, three quarters of an inch taller than I am?
Mom: Well, I brought it out, but it was very awkward. It would be worse for you because I'm taller than you are.
Me: Excuse me? It would be EASIER for me because I am waaay stronger than you. You're the biggest weakling that ever lived.
Mom: Well, that's true, but I don't want you to do it.
Me: [offended] Somebody help me out here. Tara, I could totally bring that tree in, couldn't I?
Tara: [all for sister solidarity] Totally. Mom, Erica' WAAAY stronger than you.
Mom: Don't care. Brennan and Nathan are bringing the tree in. Go do it, boys!
[Brennan and Nathan leave to bring tree in. In the meantime, we sit in silence, me royally offended and feeling discriminated against.]
Mom [to Dad]: Say something, honey.
Dad: I told you it was stupid to put the tree away before taking it apart.
Mom: Say something else.
Dad:
Me: [all huffy and breaking my silence] Fine! But just say it: I am strong enough to bring that tree in.
Mom: You are strong enough to bring that tree in.
Me: I can tell you don't mean that. Say it again from the top and this time with feeling.
Mom:
Me: Mom!! Say it! Or you'll live to regret it. I could totally bring that tree in. And [catching a glimpse of Nathan and Brennan bringing the bottom of the tree in first] I could do it in a way that made sense. You know, so that the branches didn't get stuck in the doorway and lose all their bristle things.
Mom: Boys! Turn it around and bring the narrow end in first so that the tree doesn't loose all its branches. [Under her breath.] Idiots!
Tara: [to me] Satisfied?
Me: For now.