Veering from my usual format today to post somebody else's words. They're just too funny not to post.
My Wife Left Me for a Guy Named Jesus
Words and Music by Paul Dinello from Strangers with Candy
Hail Mary, full of grace
Your boy kicked me in the face
He made my wife run away
for a big promise on Judgment Day
My wife called me a sinner
I guess I'll be fixing my own dinner
Now I'm left with pain and loathing
caused by a wolf in Messiah's clothing
My wife dumped me for a guy named Jesus
Now I see a cross and I fall to pieces
It hurts to say his dad's name when someone sneezes
My wife dumped me for a guy named Jesus
Do you think you're such a big shot raising people from the dead?
Or a slight of hand with a loaf of bread?
You're a second-rate magician … with everlasting life
whose latest trick is my disappearing wife
I'm as good as that guy named Jesus
I could cure a cripple … with a prosthesis
And I can walk on water … when it freezes
I'm as good as that guy named Jesus
And Jesus better watch his back...
