Personal Day

So guess what? I took a personal day. I slept in this morning until 9:30 and then got dressed and packed up my stuff and came to Waterloo. I went to Target and bought a new shirt, a new "wedding" clutch, a new white with green handles tote bag (good "Irish Princess" tote--you look like you've been barfed on and spilled coffee on--which is weird, because, actually I've done NEITHER of those things to you--and you're starting to smell. Also, I think I threw a pencil in you at one time because there are all these marks on the inside of you. It's all very sad. But we had a lot of good memories together and we've been together a loong time--three years in fact, and you'll always have a special place in my heart), lots of cheap tights with cool patterns like lace or checked or striped or flowers, and a battery for my blood glucose monitor--all for the low, low price of only $65. What a bargain. Then I got a sandwich from Jimmy John's and drove to this little park where the dog wandered and smelled everything and GRINNED at me the whole time, and I ate my sandwich. It was all VERY UN-Rixie of me--eating my food in the OUTDOORS, which, let's face it, is NOT how God intended it or He wouldn't have invented table runners. My idea of a picnic is ordering a pizza to go.

Anyway, now I'm at Panera drinking a hot chocolate despite the fact that it's 70 degrees out because a) my throat hurts and I want something hot, and b) I fucking like them. So there. (I may have been a bit overly-defensive on point B.) Poor Darcy's waiting in the car, but if it were a regular friday, she'd be at home in her crate, so at least she's in the car with the windows down and she got to frolic around the house this morning and then frolic at this park this afternoon. All in all she should be grateful to me. (I may be feeling overly guilty about leaving her in the car.) So anyway, I'm at Panera to write my paragraph. I'm still trying to keep up with my Lent thing by writing a paragraph a day. So far it's been going pretty well. How long ago was Easter? Two weeks ago? No, three, I think. So that's pretty impressive, huh? I seem to be stuck in some sort of writer's block, though, because I don't feel like i"m making much progress. Oh well. Whatever.

I hope my sister is not too disappointed when she comes here to read this blog and discovers it's a rerun of an email I just sent to her. She's always complaining that I don't update enough. But, seriously, if I wrote every day, here's what my blogs would look like:

Typical Day:
Got up twenty minutes late. Scrambled to get ready. Was last teacher to work, as usual. Even the kids beat me. Three boys complimented my pink coat (I'm not bragging--it's just that every day there are kids who compliment my coat and they are ALWAYS boys. I find it hilarious and therefore worth mentioning.)

First hour: kids talk nonsense. I attempt to act awake. We laugh hysterically at everything. Later, I try to remember what we talked about.

Second hour: we work in the reading lab. Kids complain about not liking to read. I complain that "hurts my heart" to which they groan and say if they have to listen to that cheesy line anymore, they're gonna blow their brains out. I say, "Well, you know the solution, right?" They grudgingly, but good-naturedly, repeat, "Practice reading so I can pass out of the reading class." I clap as if it's the first time I've heard that.

Third hour: Try not to laugh as Alec and Brent list all the other occupations I could have if I weren't a teacher. At the top of the list (currently): logger, miner, sanitation collector, and something to do with fish that I don't really understand.

Fourth hour: Run to close the door so no one passing by in the hall wonders what's going on as 3/4 of the class begins to recite The Lord's Prayer for reasons I don't understand other than they're trying to embarrass me. (Seriously, this has happened four times, and one of them was when the whole school had to go outside to pick up the toilet paper from when the track team teepeed the school. I was mortified. But also found it really funny.

Fifth hour: Go through the list of seniors who won't be graduating unless they turn in their missing work (currently, all but two) and then play the "How many days has Jason been in class" with the seniors. (Currently, eleven days since the end of January. No joke.) Also try to hide from Reeta, the sign language interpretor, because she's so annoying and does not have any social skills and will not leave me alone. Or anyone else for that matter. Matt and Matt can do the BEST impression of her. I pretend to discourage it, but secretly find it really funny.

Sixth hour: Waste at least ten minutes listening to their stories or telling stories of my own. It's really easy for me to get off topic with this class because it's so small, and it's my last freshmen class of the day. They are super fun!

Seventh hour: See second hour.

Eighth hour: My prep period. Hide from Reeta the interpretor. Get ready for tomorrow.

After school: Go home, walk the dog, feed the dog, play with the dog, yell at the dog, throw the dog outside because she's destroying my stuff, watch TV, grade papers, talk on the phone, occasionally AVOID the phone, watch TV some more, write, eat, clean the house, and get ready for tomorrow so I can repeat the whole process.

Wow. That was riveting!! Why DON'T I write everyday???

Peace out.