‘Bob Slydell: “Looks like you’ve been missing an awful lot of work lately.”
Peter Gibbons: “Well, I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it, Bob!”
(All chuckle)’
John C. McGinley and Ron Livingston in Office Space
Over the course of the last several days, I have used my wily wits to legitimately get out of work. This is cause for celebration. Now, I know what you’re thinking. If work is so boring and I am so clever, why don’t I just play hooky or “catch” a “virus” like … I don’t know, what’s going around? The flu? SARS? Tuberculosis? The answer, my friend, is written in the wind—or rather the screenplay to Office Space.
Bob Slydell: If you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Bob Slydell: Great.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door--that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh--after that I sorta space out for an hour.
Bob Porter: Da-uh? Space out?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.
What I’m trying to say is I can just as easily do nothing at work as do nothing at home, so I might as well get paid for doing nothing. See what I’m saying, G? (Re: “G” I’m trying out some different phrases to see how they work. Look also for “thuggin” and “my posse.” If you would like to comment, install a guestbook for my technologically-handicapped ass).
Anyway. As I was saying: legitimate absences. Monday I had an eye appointment in the afternoon, and therefore only worked for about 3 hours at the office. For once, I was grateful for my decaying eyesight. (Which, incidentally, are not so decaying. It turns out when they say “replace contacts every twelve months” they MEAN twelve months, not nineteen). I had an hour delay getting here Tuesday because … well, there’s no reason. I just didn’t want to come in as early as usual. Sue me. No one around here cares what time I come in and frankly, I don’t think anyone would notice or say anything if I showed up at 5:29 and left at 5:30. Wednesday, severe thunderstorms + overprotective father = no driving until the weather is clear = happy Rixie. Thursday, lunched with Dad and didn't get back to the office for quite some time. Today, well after getting certificates to all the kids for the last day of swimming lessons and packing so I can spend the weekend in Iowa City, as well as stopping at Little Ceasar's for an extended lunch, I imagine I'll only be able to put in four hours or so. Shucks! Unfortunately, it looks like a full day Monday, DAGnammit! Oh well, these things happen right? I’ll just pencil in extra spacing out time between the hours of 3 and 4 o’clock.
Friday, June 27, 2003
Saturday, June 21, 2003
Midnight Excursions
"Now Harry, you must know all about Muggles, tell me, what exactly is the function of a rubber duck?"
--Mark Williams as Mr. Weasley in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
The evercool Miss Rixie and Sister ran to WaldenBooks last night, where they were greeted by two witches handing out Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans and stood in line with several Muggles until midnight. At which point they were allowed in the store to purchase their books. Only, as it turns out, there were no books to buy. The pair made a Mad Dash to Wal-Mart where, luckily, there were piles of books. The duo promptly swept up three copies, ripped an advertisement off the wall, and ran for the check out. They arrived home at shortly before 1:30. Just enough time to read for a couple hours before going to bed. Aaah, the life of the enlightened.
--Mark Williams as Mr. Weasley in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
The evercool Miss Rixie and Sister ran to WaldenBooks last night, where they were greeted by two witches handing out Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans and stood in line with several Muggles until midnight. At which point they were allowed in the store to purchase their books. Only, as it turns out, there were no books to buy. The pair made a Mad Dash to Wal-Mart where, luckily, there were piles of books. The duo promptly swept up three copies, ripped an advertisement off the wall, and ran for the check out. They arrived home at shortly before 1:30. Just enough time to read for a couple hours before going to bed. Aaah, the life of the enlightened.
Friday, June 20, 2003
Opinions and paradoxes
"'And what is your opinion, Miss Price?'
'I'm afraid I do not have a ready opinion.'
'I suspect you are full of ready opinions not yet shared.'"
--Alessandro Nivola and Frances O'Connor as Henry Crawford and Fanny Price in Mansfield Park
"'I love talking about nothing, Father. It is the only thing I know anything about.'
'That is a paradox, sir. I hate paradoxes."
--Rupert Everett and John Wood as Lord Goring and Lord Caversham in An Ideal Husband
It occurred to me that I hadn't shared many of my ready-formed opinions. Must rectify that immediately, obviously. Get ready to read about nothing!
LIKES
*Quoting movies and books
*When people recognize what I'm quoting
*Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger
*Alan Rickman
*Stalking people. Yeah, for real.
*Getting newly developed pictures back.
*Good Jane Austen movie adaptions (this does NOT include "Persuasion"--why are they kissing in the middle of the street at the end?!? Did I fall asleep in the middle of the movie? WHAT'S GOING ON?)
*Sonny Corinthos
*When people recognize the depth of my love for Sonny Corinthos.
*When people know who Sonny Corinthos is.
*Researching on the internet.
*When people recognize that by "researching" I mean "surfing the net"
*70 degree weather
*When my friends and family call me Rixie
*Diet Cherry Coke
*My siblings
*Stephanie Plum
*When my house is clean
*When my cell phone rings
*Unread emails--> rixiestarr@hotmail.com I encourage you to add it to your address book
*When people read my blogger
DISLIKES
*Talking on the phone (unless it's my cell phone--I know it's a paradox)
*Books with titles that begin "The Cat Who ..."
*Courtney Mathews (if you don't know, you probably don't want to ask ... unless you're really brave ... ASK ME, ASK ME!! PLEASE ASK ME!!)
*Working. Bo*ring!
*People who don't understand what phone phobia is. I get nervous when I have to call people I don't know, OKAY?
'I'm afraid I do not have a ready opinion.'
'I suspect you are full of ready opinions not yet shared.'"
--Alessandro Nivola and Frances O'Connor as Henry Crawford and Fanny Price in Mansfield Park
"'I love talking about nothing, Father. It is the only thing I know anything about.'
'That is a paradox, sir. I hate paradoxes."
--Rupert Everett and John Wood as Lord Goring and Lord Caversham in An Ideal Husband
It occurred to me that I hadn't shared many of my ready-formed opinions. Must rectify that immediately, obviously. Get ready to read about nothing!
LIKES
*Quoting movies and books
*When people recognize what I'm quoting
*Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger
*Alan Rickman
*Stalking people. Yeah, for real.
*Getting newly developed pictures back.
*Good Jane Austen movie adaptions (this does NOT include "Persuasion"--why are they kissing in the middle of the street at the end?!? Did I fall asleep in the middle of the movie? WHAT'S GOING ON?)
*Sonny Corinthos
*When people recognize the depth of my love for Sonny Corinthos.
*When people know who Sonny Corinthos is.
*Researching on the internet.
*When people recognize that by "researching" I mean "surfing the net"
*70 degree weather
*When my friends and family call me Rixie
*Diet Cherry Coke
*My siblings
*Stephanie Plum
*When my house is clean
*When my cell phone rings
*Unread emails--> rixiestarr@hotmail.com I encourage you to add it to your address book
*When people read my blogger
DISLIKES
*Talking on the phone (unless it's my cell phone--I know it's a paradox)
*Books with titles that begin "The Cat Who ..."
*Courtney Mathews (if you don't know, you probably don't want to ask ... unless you're really brave ... ASK ME, ASK ME!! PLEASE ASK ME!!)
*Working. Bo*ring!
*People who don't understand what phone phobia is. I get nervous when I have to call people I don't know, OKAY?
Wednesday, June 18, 2003
The Power of Reading
Lockhart: "Books can be misleading."
Harry: "YOU wrote them!"
Lockhart: "My dear boy, do use your common sense! My books wouldn't have sold half as well if people didn't think I'D done all these things!"
Kenneth Branagh and Daniel Radcliffe,
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Hermione (to Ron and Harry): "Seriously, don't you two read?"
Emma Watson, Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone
Riddle: "Funny, the damage a silly little book can do, especially in the hands of a silly little girl."
Christian Coulson, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Hermione: "Am I the only person who's read Hogwarts: A History?"
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Can you sense a theme? Hmm, if you guessed "Harry Potter" and "books," you're a winner! Lots of quotes today in anticipation for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix which is released in two days, seven hours, and forty-five minutes. Hurrah!!
Harry: "YOU wrote them!"
Lockhart: "My dear boy, do use your common sense! My books wouldn't have sold half as well if people didn't think I'D done all these things!"
Kenneth Branagh and Daniel Radcliffe,
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Hermione (to Ron and Harry): "Seriously, don't you two read?"
Emma Watson, Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone
Riddle: "Funny, the damage a silly little book can do, especially in the hands of a silly little girl."
Christian Coulson, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Hermione: "Am I the only person who's read Hogwarts: A History?"
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Can you sense a theme? Hmm, if you guessed "Harry Potter" and "books," you're a winner! Lots of quotes today in anticipation for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix which is released in two days, seven hours, and forty-five minutes. Hurrah!!
Monday, June 16, 2003
The Trouble with Work
"It's not that I'm lazy; it's just that I don't care!"
Ron Livingston, Office Space
Let's face it, it's really hard to care about what you're trying to get done when you come to work and get NOTHING ACCOMPLISHED for the five-plus hours you were there. Ugh! Trying to contact people during the work day is like trying to get my swimming lessons kids to stop peeing in the pool: IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN FOLKS!! What, do I need to switch and start working the graveyard shift? COME ON PEOPLE!! Start calling me back!
Useless fact for the day: Ron Livingston was born in Cedar Rapids.
This message brought to you by the letter E and the number 21.
Ron Livingston, Office Space
Let's face it, it's really hard to care about what you're trying to get done when you come to work and get NOTHING ACCOMPLISHED for the five-plus hours you were there. Ugh! Trying to contact people during the work day is like trying to get my swimming lessons kids to stop peeing in the pool: IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN FOLKS!! What, do I need to switch and start working the graveyard shift? COME ON PEOPLE!! Start calling me back!
Useless fact for the day: Ron Livingston was born in Cedar Rapids.
This message brought to you by the letter E and the number 21.
Saturday, June 14, 2003
The Devil Incarnate ... The Spawn of Satan ... The Root of all that is Evil
"Her hobbies include figure skating, water ballet and taking long, luxurious bubble baths."
William Shatner re: Sandra Bullock, Miss Congeniality, 2000
"You're the devil."
John Cusack to Catherine Zeta-Jones in America's Sweethearts, 2001
I have not blogged in quite some time. I've been busy training for the summer Olympics (water polo) and stalking professors on the University of Iowa campus. I'm a busy girl, you know. Actually, I typed a huge post last week, but it...er...got deleted on accident. Not my fault, I assure you. But then, what is?
One session of swimming lessons done and seven private lessons lined up. Whenever I get to the pool, I immediately get in the water to wake myself up. One day, 15 minutes before the kids can get in the water, I see one girl out of the corner of my eye I come barreling at me 100 miles an hour. She's about my height and my weight. Now, think of the most annoying person you know. Multiply the annoyance level by two and think of the whininess of your selected person. Take that whine and multiply that by 10 gabillion and now convert that to EVILNESS. This kid is ... how can I put this? Oh, I know-- she's THE DEVIL!! I'm not even kidding. She told another woman that she hated her and she was going to kill her. I would consider moving and changing my locks and getting a guard (like the Fat Lady in Harry Potter). So anyway, she comes barreling at me and LEAPS into the air, does the splits and lands in the pool. I was treading water at just over five feet. This girl is seven and has had four days of lessons. Naturally, she sinks like a brick. I consider letting her and her evilness drown, but that would just make me look bad so I go get her. I'm expecting tears and a death grip around my neck as I haul her to the side. But no. You know what she says to me? "That hurt my pee-pee." Um ... what do you say to that? I don't exactly want to offer to do something to make it better, so instead I just say, "I'm taller than you."
Miss Rixie paid a visit to Iowa City Thursday night. I left the brook at about 1 and stopped by the Lindquist Center to pick up several portfolios from schoo, including my practicum portfolio. Went with Kim to Gringo's. We're in complete agreement that we are the best ones. Then visited with the roommates and saw Jackie and Teresa. Very fun. Went to bed at about 3 and got up at 6 to make it back to the brook for lessons. What an exciting life I just lead.
William Shatner re: Sandra Bullock, Miss Congeniality, 2000
"You're the devil."
John Cusack to Catherine Zeta-Jones in America's Sweethearts, 2001
I have not blogged in quite some time. I've been busy training for the summer Olympics (water polo) and stalking professors on the University of Iowa campus. I'm a busy girl, you know. Actually, I typed a huge post last week, but it...er...got deleted on accident. Not my fault, I assure you. But then, what is?
One session of swimming lessons done and seven private lessons lined up. Whenever I get to the pool, I immediately get in the water to wake myself up. One day, 15 minutes before the kids can get in the water, I see one girl out of the corner of my eye I come barreling at me 100 miles an hour. She's about my height and my weight. Now, think of the most annoying person you know. Multiply the annoyance level by two and think of the whininess of your selected person. Take that whine and multiply that by 10 gabillion and now convert that to EVILNESS. This kid is ... how can I put this? Oh, I know-- she's THE DEVIL!! I'm not even kidding. She told another woman that she hated her and she was going to kill her. I would consider moving and changing my locks and getting a guard (like the Fat Lady in Harry Potter). So anyway, she comes barreling at me and LEAPS into the air, does the splits and lands in the pool. I was treading water at just over five feet. This girl is seven and has had four days of lessons. Naturally, she sinks like a brick. I consider letting her and her evilness drown, but that would just make me look bad so I go get her. I'm expecting tears and a death grip around my neck as I haul her to the side. But no. You know what she says to me? "That hurt my pee-pee." Um ... what do you say to that? I don't exactly want to offer to do something to make it better, so instead I just say, "I'm taller than you."
Miss Rixie paid a visit to Iowa City Thursday night. I left the brook at about 1 and stopped by the Lindquist Center to pick up several portfolios from schoo, including my practicum portfolio. Went with Kim to Gringo's. We're in complete agreement that we are the best ones. Then visited with the roommates and saw Jackie and Teresa. Very fun. Went to bed at about 3 and got up at 6 to make it back to the brook for lessons. What an exciting life I just lead.
Saturday, June 07, 2003
Married at 21...yeesh!
"I'm a busy girl. I've got exactly four days to break up a wedding, steal the bride's fella and I haven't one clue how to do it."
--Julia Roberts, My Best Friend's Wedding, 1997
"'Marriage is just a way of getting out of an embarassing pause in conversation.'
'The definitive icebreaker.'"
--Hugh Grant and Simon Callow, Four Weddings and a Funeral, 1994
Christine Shires's wedding is today in about three and a half hours. I'm heading over to Nicole's later and we're gonna go together. We went in on a gift together too: a card and $$. We're original thinkers like that. Quite excited to see everyone, I haven't seen many of these people for over a year, including Christine herself. Hard to believe we've been out of school for three years!! Twill be lots of fun!
--Julia Roberts, My Best Friend's Wedding, 1997
"'Marriage is just a way of getting out of an embarassing pause in conversation.'
'The definitive icebreaker.'"
--Hugh Grant and Simon Callow, Four Weddings and a Funeral, 1994
Christine Shires's wedding is today in about three and a half hours. I'm heading over to Nicole's later and we're gonna go together. We went in on a gift together too: a card and $$. We're original thinkers like that. Quite excited to see everyone, I haven't seen many of these people for over a year, including Christine herself. Hard to believe we've been out of school for three years!! Twill be lots of fun!
Thursday, June 05, 2003
And it's back to work. My life has purpose. My life has meaning. The rest of the summer will be a blur of waking up to teach lessons, hurrying home and to work, hurrying home and back to the pool to teach private lessons and falling into bed only to wake up and do it all over again. I may not even have time for General Hospital.
Ha ha. Don't kid yourself. That will NEVER happen. I just can't cope without my soap.
Ha ha. Don't kid yourself. That will NEVER happen. I just can't cope without my soap.
Monday, June 02, 2003
Summer loving had me a blast ... or not
First day of swimming lessons: aaah, the wonderful world of the Gladbrook Pool. Get up, 8:00. Arrive at pool, 8:07. Get attendance sheets in order, 8:15. Kids arrival, 8:15 to 8:20. Begin lessons, 8:30. Look at clock two minutes later, it is now 11:30. Get out of pool, dry off, run home through the POURING rain. Arrive home EXHAUSTED, 11:35, ready to start the day. Aaaah, could it get any better (note: there is no sarcasm in that sentence--there must be something wrong with me because I genuinely love lessons THAT much.
Went to Marshalltown with Fifi-trixiebelle. We listened to my eclectic CD mix of Disney's Hercules, The Sound of Music, John Denver, Christina Aguilera, Shania Twain, and Evanessence. It's so excellent. Then I bought two new pairs of shoes, which I've been wearing ever since. Who said high heels don't go with jeans?!? Nicole and her roomie Kristin stopped by and we arranged plans for Christine's wedding on Saturday (are we at the age old enough to be getting married?) In a couple hours it's back to the pool to get recertified for CPR. Then tomorrow I have swimming lessons and I start work at the office as well as private lessons. The fun begins!!
Went to Marshalltown with Fifi-trixiebelle. We listened to my eclectic CD mix of Disney's Hercules, The Sound of Music, John Denver, Christina Aguilera, Shania Twain, and Evanessence. It's so excellent. Then I bought two new pairs of shoes, which I've been wearing ever since. Who said high heels don't go with jeans?!? Nicole and her roomie Kristin stopped by and we arranged plans for Christine's wedding on Saturday (are we at the age old enough to be getting married?) In a couple hours it's back to the pool to get recertified for CPR. Then tomorrow I have swimming lessons and I start work at the office as well as private lessons. The fun begins!!
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