"Don’t be mad, Miss A., but I lost my essay.
I didn’t know they were due today."
But today’s the day I’m figuring your grade,
So… be afraid. Be very afraid.
By mid-morning, my classroom’s in disarray;
Papers and trash every which way,
The mountains of papers piling up on my desk
Have moved beyond frightening and into grotesque.
Gazing around, I can’t hide my dismay,
Lessons and textbooks and backpacks, oh my!
All these things my job does feature,
Welcome to the life of a teacher!
Friday, February 10, 2006
Sunday, February 05, 2006
A Day in the Life of Darcy the Puggle
6:45 Wake up. Wait patiently for Rixie to let me out of crate.
6:46 Begin wagging tail ferociously so it hits against the side of crate thus waking Rixie up to let me out.
6:47 Wag tail harder. Nothing.
6:48 Fall back asleep.
7:59 Wake up. Begin to cry very softly to be let out of crate.
8:00 Nothing. Cry louder.
8:01 Go back to sleep.
8:56 Wake up. Cry softly to let Rixie know am awake. Hear expletive coming from Rixie's room. She's awake. Take expletive as encouragement and begin to cry in earnest.
9:01 She's coming, she's coming, she's coming to let me out. Make excited noises to know am appreciating it.
9:02 Let out of crate. Get so excited by the prospect of breakfast, forget what I am doing and run into next room. Run directly back when hear puppy chow being poured into bowl. Run into cabinet door in excitement.
9:03 Begin eating.
9:03 and a half Finish eating. Run to door and tackle Rixie from the back to show am ready to go outside.
9:04 Do business. Come back inside.
9:15 Jump on Rixie's bed. Get pushed off bed by Rixie who is burrowed under blankets.
9:16 Try again. Get pushed down again.
9:17 Eat used Kleenexes out of bathroom garbage can.
9:20 Am so excited by something, run around the loop in house four times. Am shooting for five when I discover Rixie is up and making something in the kitchen.
9:21 Climb on table to find out what she is making.
9:22 Get yelled at. Get off table.
9:23 Play fetch while Rixie is eating and reading.
10:01 Tire of fetch. Sit on chair in living room staring into space.
10:46 Find living room boring. Move into blue room. Sit on chair staring into space.
11:03 Hear Rixie calling me. Do not respond.
11:04 Rixie finds me and sits with me in chair. She is talking baby talk which I do NOT respond to. Ever.
11:17 Hear neighbors getting home. Am upset by noise they are making as they enter their apartment. Bark to let them have it.
11:31 Do not stop barking until Rixie threatens, "Kennel up." Am silenced immediately.
11:37 Play more fetch.
12:02 Run more loops in the house.
12:13 Chew a bone.
12:15 Abandon bone for highlighter.
12:16 Get yelled at for chewing highlighter.
12:18 Growl at a cat through the window.
12:21 Sniff in bathroom garbage while Rixie takes shower. Get yelled at.
12:42 Scratch at door to go outside.
12:43 Scratch at door to go inside. Am ignored.
12:44 Begin sniffing leaves and diggin holes.
1:02 Am let back inside. Rixie is talking on phone. Burrow under couch hoping to find buried treasure.
1:04 Climb on kitchen table hoping to find treasure.
1:06 Scratch at pillows on Rixie's bed hoping to find treasure.
1:08 Am thrown outside.
1:31 Am let back inside.
1:32 Fall asleep on Rixie's lap.
2:37 Go for a drive with Rixie. She is clearly feeling guilty for abandoning me for speech contest the last two months.
3:03 Run more circles in the house.
3:46 Fall asleep on the couch.
4:02 Bark at doorbell on TV.
4:26 Bark at ringing phone on TV.
5:46 Run back and forth between living room and kitchen to let Rixie know it's time for supper.
5:55 Eat supper.
5:55 and a half Finish supper.
5:56 Go outside. Do business.
5:59 Come inside. Run loops in the house.
6:03 Chew bone.
6:09 Attack stuffed bear like it is a predator. Tear stuffing out.
6:15 Abandon bear for Rixie's pants. Attack ferociously.
6:16 Get thrown outside.
6:23 Get let back in after much begging.
6:24 Knock over trash.
6:25 Fall asleep on the couch.
8:01 Move to chair. Fall asleep on chair.
8:31 Bark at own reflection in window. Get yelled at.
9:13 Cuddle with Rixie.
9:15 Am finished cuddling, but she won't let go. Bite her. Hard.
9:16 Get pushed off the furniture and yelled at.
9:32 Fall asleep on Rixie.
10:02 Kennel up. Fall asleep.
Repeat process tomorrow. It's a good life.
6:46 Begin wagging tail ferociously so it hits against the side of crate thus waking Rixie up to let me out.
6:47 Wag tail harder. Nothing.
6:48 Fall back asleep.
7:59 Wake up. Begin to cry very softly to be let out of crate.
8:00 Nothing. Cry louder.
8:01 Go back to sleep.
8:56 Wake up. Cry softly to let Rixie know am awake. Hear expletive coming from Rixie's room. She's awake. Take expletive as encouragement and begin to cry in earnest.
9:01 She's coming, she's coming, she's coming to let me out. Make excited noises to know am appreciating it.
9:02 Let out of crate. Get so excited by the prospect of breakfast, forget what I am doing and run into next room. Run directly back when hear puppy chow being poured into bowl. Run into cabinet door in excitement.
9:03 Begin eating.
9:03 and a half Finish eating. Run to door and tackle Rixie from the back to show am ready to go outside.
9:04 Do business. Come back inside.
9:15 Jump on Rixie's bed. Get pushed off bed by Rixie who is burrowed under blankets.
9:16 Try again. Get pushed down again.
9:17 Eat used Kleenexes out of bathroom garbage can.
9:20 Am so excited by something, run around the loop in house four times. Am shooting for five when I discover Rixie is up and making something in the kitchen.
9:21 Climb on table to find out what she is making.
9:22 Get yelled at. Get off table.
9:23 Play fetch while Rixie is eating and reading.
10:01 Tire of fetch. Sit on chair in living room staring into space.
10:46 Find living room boring. Move into blue room. Sit on chair staring into space.
11:03 Hear Rixie calling me. Do not respond.
11:04 Rixie finds me and sits with me in chair. She is talking baby talk which I do NOT respond to. Ever.
11:17 Hear neighbors getting home. Am upset by noise they are making as they enter their apartment. Bark to let them have it.
11:31 Do not stop barking until Rixie threatens, "Kennel up." Am silenced immediately.
11:37 Play more fetch.
12:02 Run more loops in the house.
12:13 Chew a bone.
12:15 Abandon bone for highlighter.
12:16 Get yelled at for chewing highlighter.
12:18 Growl at a cat through the window.
12:21 Sniff in bathroom garbage while Rixie takes shower. Get yelled at.
12:42 Scratch at door to go outside.
12:43 Scratch at door to go inside. Am ignored.
12:44 Begin sniffing leaves and diggin holes.
1:02 Am let back inside. Rixie is talking on phone. Burrow under couch hoping to find buried treasure.
1:04 Climb on kitchen table hoping to find treasure.
1:06 Scratch at pillows on Rixie's bed hoping to find treasure.
1:08 Am thrown outside.
1:31 Am let back inside.
1:32 Fall asleep on Rixie's lap.
2:37 Go for a drive with Rixie. She is clearly feeling guilty for abandoning me for speech contest the last two months.
3:03 Run more circles in the house.
3:46 Fall asleep on the couch.
4:02 Bark at doorbell on TV.
4:26 Bark at ringing phone on TV.
5:46 Run back and forth between living room and kitchen to let Rixie know it's time for supper.
5:55 Eat supper.
5:55 and a half Finish supper.
5:56 Go outside. Do business.
5:59 Come inside. Run loops in the house.
6:03 Chew bone.
6:09 Attack stuffed bear like it is a predator. Tear stuffing out.
6:15 Abandon bear for Rixie's pants. Attack ferociously.
6:16 Get thrown outside.
6:23 Get let back in after much begging.
6:24 Knock over trash.
6:25 Fall asleep on the couch.
8:01 Move to chair. Fall asleep on chair.
8:31 Bark at own reflection in window. Get yelled at.
9:13 Cuddle with Rixie.
9:15 Am finished cuddling, but she won't let go. Bite her. Hard.
9:16 Get pushed off the furniture and yelled at.
9:32 Fall asleep on Rixie.
10:02 Kennel up. Fall asleep.
Repeat process tomorrow. It's a good life.
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