Happy birthday ... to me.

Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 24.

It's incredible to me. Even as I look at the number, I can't believe it. When my students asked me how old I was and I replied, "Twenty-four," some of the girls responded, "I didn't know you were that young," which prompted the boys to joke, "Any day now you'll be over the hill." I replied, "I know! It's getting to the point where I can say, 'Twenty years ago...' and actually remember what happened!"

Which got me thinking.

I had a lovely birthday yesterday. The weather was beautiful and since it's Easter weekend, I have several days off from school now. I got loads of wonderful presents from my fam, including a new DVD/VCR combo and several books and movies I'd been coveting. My mim and I went grocery shopping for Easter dinner on Sunday and it was nice to spend time with her, I'm currently rereading one of my all-time favorite books (Jennifer Crusie's Welcome to Temptation) which is one of those books that makes me feel happy just looking at it, and my dog was behaving herself for a change. All in all, it was perfect.

And even so, when I went to bed, I turned out my light earlier than I usually would so I could float in the darkness and let my age and memories and feelings wash over me. I had a perfectly lovely day, and although it's not as traumatic as my last birthday was, I felt awash with feelings of nostalgia and change, all swirled into one indefinable emotion. I like to be able to identify my emotions, so it's particularly puzzling when I'm unable to. I guess it's just as my mother told me last year, "Birthdays are emotional." What I'm discovering more and more is that--they are.

They signify age and mortality, and yet, inevitably, I reflect back on previous years and feel youthful as well. They signify achievement--look at all I've done--and unconquered dreams--here's what I still want to do. They make me reflective and dreamy and hopeful and inspired and, well, emotional. And even though I'm one big ball of confusion, I still can't help but think: ooh, I can't wait until next April 14th!

It's reassuring that as I approach mid-twenties, part of me set up camp along time ago in the single digits.

Discussions in Class

Overheard conversations while watching the movie Cannery Row with 11 senior boys suffering from senioritis.

After seeing Nick Nolte, complete with mustache, Jacob (complete with a mustache himself) shouts out: "Hey! That's me!" The screen flashes to an ugly looking octupus. Jacob cries: "And that's Rhett!" The screen flashes to a scantily clad woman: "And that's Lucas. Wow! Look at the legs on Luke!"

After Nick Nolte swears, the class unanimously gasps in mock shock.
Me: "Do we need to take out our mature caps and secure them tightly to our heads."
(Various students mumbling to each other): "Our what?"... "I've lost mine"... "Lost it? You never had it!" ... "What the hell's a mature cap? Is that like a tampon?"

Telepathic Conversation

Conversation between my sister and me about Pride & Prejudice

Me: Do you think Jane Austen--

Sister: I know! I think about that all the time.

Me: I don't think she did.

Sister: Me either. But it's still--

Me: I KNOW!! It totally is.

[Pause.]

Sister: Totally.

The Life of a Teacher

"Don’t be mad, Miss A., but I lost my essay.
I didn’t know they were due today."

But today’s the day I’m figuring your grade,
So… be afraid. Be very afraid.

By mid-morning, my classroom’s in disarray;
Papers and trash every which way,

The mountains of papers piling up on my desk
Have moved beyond frightening and into grotesque.

Gazing around, I can’t hide my dismay,
Lessons and textbooks and backpacks, oh my!

All these things my job does feature,
Welcome to the life of a teacher!

A Day in the Life of Darcy the Puggle

6:45 Wake up. Wait patiently for Rixie to let me out of crate.

6:46 Begin wagging tail ferociously so it hits against the side of crate thus waking Rixie up to let me out.

6:47 Wag tail harder. Nothing.

6:48 Fall back asleep.

7:59 Wake up. Begin to cry very softly to be let out of crate.

8:00 Nothing. Cry louder.

8:01 Go back to sleep.

8:56 Wake up. Cry softly to let Rixie know am awake. Hear expletive coming from Rixie's room. She's awake. Take expletive as encouragement and begin to cry in earnest.

9:01 She's coming, she's coming, she's coming to let me out. Make excited noises to know am appreciating it.

9:02 Let out of crate. Get so excited by the prospect of breakfast, forget what I am doing and run into next room. Run directly back when hear puppy chow being poured into bowl. Run into cabinet door in excitement.

9:03 Begin eating.

9:03 and a half Finish eating. Run to door and tackle Rixie from the back to show am ready to go outside.

9:04 Do business. Come back inside.

9:15 Jump on Rixie's bed. Get pushed off bed by Rixie who is burrowed under blankets.

9:16 Try again. Get pushed down again.

9:17 Eat used Kleenexes out of bathroom garbage can.

9:20 Am so excited by something, run around the loop in house four times. Am shooting for five when I discover Rixie is up and making something in the kitchen.

9:21 Climb on table to find out what she is making.

9:22 Get yelled at. Get off table.

9:23 Play fetch while Rixie is eating and reading.

10:01 Tire of fetch. Sit on chair in living room staring into space.

10:46 Find living room boring. Move into blue room. Sit on chair staring into space.

11:03 Hear Rixie calling me. Do not respond.

11:04 Rixie finds me and sits with me in chair. She is talking baby talk which I do NOT respond to. Ever.

11:17 Hear neighbors getting home. Am upset by noise they are making as they enter their apartment. Bark to let them have it.

11:31 Do not stop barking until Rixie threatens, "Kennel up." Am silenced immediately.

11:37 Play more fetch.

12:02 Run more loops in the house.

12:13 Chew a bone.

12:15 Abandon bone for highlighter.

12:16 Get yelled at for chewing highlighter.

12:18 Growl at a cat through the window.

12:21 Sniff in bathroom garbage while Rixie takes shower. Get yelled at.

12:42 Scratch at door to go outside.

12:43 Scratch at door to go inside. Am ignored.

12:44 Begin sniffing leaves and diggin holes.

1:02 Am let back inside. Rixie is talking on phone. Burrow under couch hoping to find buried treasure.

1:04 Climb on kitchen table hoping to find treasure.

1:06 Scratch at pillows on Rixie's bed hoping to find treasure.

1:08 Am thrown outside.

1:31 Am let back inside.

1:32 Fall asleep on Rixie's lap.

2:37 Go for a drive with Rixie. She is clearly feeling guilty for abandoning me for speech contest the last two months.

3:03 Run more circles in the house.

3:46 Fall asleep on the couch.

4:02 Bark at doorbell on TV.

4:26 Bark at ringing phone on TV.

5:46 Run back and forth between living room and kitchen to let Rixie know it's time for supper.

5:55 Eat supper.

5:55 and a half Finish supper.

5:56 Go outside. Do business.

5:59 Come inside. Run loops in the house.

6:03 Chew bone.

6:09 Attack stuffed bear like it is a predator. Tear stuffing out.

6:15 Abandon bear for Rixie's pants. Attack ferociously.

6:16 Get thrown outside.

6:23 Get let back in after much begging.

6:24 Knock over trash.

6:25 Fall asleep on the couch.

8:01 Move to chair. Fall asleep on chair.

8:31 Bark at own reflection in window. Get yelled at.

9:13 Cuddle with Rixie.

9:15 Am finished cuddling, but she won't let go. Bite her. Hard.

9:16 Get pushed off the furniture and yelled at.

9:32 Fall asleep on Rixie.

10:02 Kennel up. Fall asleep.


Repeat process tomorrow. It's a good life.

The Romance Collection: The Scarlet Pimpernel

I recently spent $80 on a 14-DVD set collection of A&E/BBC miniseries (it was totally worth every penny and I would have paid more for it). The DVDs included:

Pride & Prejudice (the single greatest miniseries ever created with the possible exception of Anne of Green Gables)
Victoria & Albert (which I first saw as a sophomore in college when it first came out)
Ivanhoe
Emma
The Scarlet Pimpernel
Lorna Doone
Tom Jones
Jane Eyre


Here comes the third review:

The Scarlet Pimpernel
IT ROCKED MY FACE OFF!!!!!! First of all, the actors were AWESOME!!! Usually in these miniseries, you're lucky if you find even one person that you warm up to (obviously not counting Pride & Prejudice) or find attractive. My biggest pet peeve is when (and it happens in EVERY BBC production script) Character B says about Character A, "S/he is so beautiful" and viewers at home are like WTF??????????? because they are totally NOT beautiful and it's an insult to the average person's intelligence to believe that they are. You know? Well, in this case, the actors are EFFING PERFECT!!!! The actor playing the Scarlet Pimpernel is just the right amount of foppishly flamboyant. That totally makes him sound gay, but, believe me, if you're watching it, you don't think that at all because he is also really cool (not in a leather jacket and shades kind of way, but in a suave, grace-under-pressure kind of way) and a little sexist (but in the bossy/macho/Captain von Trapp/"I must protect my wife no matter what!"/hot kind of way).

His wife, Lady Blakeney, has just the right amount of repressed I'm-still-in-love-with-my-husband-even-though-he's-distant-with-me heartache to make us feel for her while her anger at being rejected by her emotionally unavailable (for reasons she doesn't understand) husband saves her character from being a sap. Not to worry, you purists out there, her anger at him is distinctly lady-like. For you feminists out there, her anger is especially satisfying because he's such a cold fish (until, of course she figures out he's the Scarlet Pimpernel and then she's no longer angry, but all kick-ass in a Victorian sort of way. Well, except for the fact that she's French.)

The best part is it's surprisingly funny and the flirting between Sir and Lady Blakeney (post her discovery he's the pimpernel) is deliciously adorable. All in all, I give it 5 stars out of 5.

The Romance Collection: Tom Jones

I recently spent $80 on a 14-DVD set collection of A&E/BBC miniseries (it was totally worth every penny and I would have paid more for it). The DVDs included:

Pride & Prejudice (the single greatest miniseries ever created with the possible exception of Anne of Green Gables)
Victoria & Albert (which I first saw as a sophomore in college when it first came out)
Ivanhoe
Emma
The Scarlet Pimpernel
Lorna Doone
Tom Jones
Jane Eyre


Here comes the secondreview:

Tom Jones
The miniseries is a farce in the typical Henry Fielding way, so if you're into that, you will probably enjoy this miniseries. I, however, while enjoying it, had a hard time getting past a couple of things:

1) Lurkey, Tom's cousin (affectionately nicknamed so because of his habit to lurk in the corners and spy on all the other characters), is boh-ring!! Good thing he's fairly good looking!

2) Fate REALLY had it in for these characters. I mean in a Romeo & Juliet I-am-out-to-get-you-no-matter-what-you-do kind of way. Until the very end, that is. (Not to spoil it for you, but it is a happy ending. Otherwise, I totally would NOT have watched it. )

3) But it almost ISN'T a happy ending and there's only one reason for it. To put it bluntly, TOM JONES IS A WHORE!!!!!! If Tom could keep his pants zipped, EVERYONE would have been saved a lot of heartache and trouble, including Sophie, the love of his life, nearly getting raped twice and married off to different but equally disturbing men (one of those men being Lurkey who is only marrying her to make her miserable and to get back at Tom Jones for being fun and popular. Here's an idea, Lurkey: SMILE once in a while and maybe you'll make friends. Also, stop letting people's favorite pets run away. That may help too.) Course, if Tom could have kept his pants zipped, there wouldn't have been a story, but all things considered, I'm not sure that would have been that bad of a punishment.

Still, for the most part, it was fairly enjoyable. There were some funny lines and amusing parts. Most of the credit, however, goes to Sophie, who's love eventually redeems Tom's whoring, and who's portrayer eventually redeems the story with her delightful acting. I give it 3 out of 5 stars.

The Romance Collection: Ivanhoe

I recently spent $80 on a 14-DVD set collection of A&E/BBC miniseries (it was totally worth every penny and I would have paid more for it). The DVDs included:

Pride & Prejudice (the single greatest miniseries ever created with the possible exception of Anne of Green Gables)
Victoria & Albert (which I first saw as a sophomore in college when it first came out)
Ivanhoe
Emma
The Scarlet Pimpernel
Lorna Doone
Tom Jones
Jane Eyre

Here comes the first review:

Ivanhoe
Overall, it was pretty good but here are my complaints:

1. Saxons should totally have shaved. Their scraggly-Gimli beards are so not hot.

2. One of the girls was totally ugly and had a line, "Am I not beautiful?" I was like, um, no Shylock, thanks for playing. UGH!! I hate when they cast ugly girls in parts that are supposed to be beautiful. Especially when the main character falls in love with them and you're all, okay a) you're ugly, and b) you're personality is stupid too, and c) I hate your fake accent.

3. There was WAY too much fighting and war stuff going on. Plus, it's the BBC, so it's super slow and unimpressive. I mean, if you MUST have a sword fight, at least watch Pirates of the Caribbean and choreograph it correctly. Even if Pirates wasn't around for six more years.

So I'd have to give it two and a half stars out of five.

9-11

I was a sophomore in college at the time. I woke up that morning and realized I was late for class. I scrambled into the shower and dressed, then hurried the half block from my dorm to where my class was located in the basement of the chemistry building. The class was intro to social work and when my professor started class, he was unusually somber.

As long as I live I will never forget his words. "In light of what' s happened today, we won't be having class." There was a long pause, and he seemed to understand that most of us had no idea what he was talking about. He continued, "Terrorists have crashed into the World Trade Center in New York." He said more in his quiet, somber voice, but I don't remember what he said. I remember staring at the seat in front of me and trying to wrap my mind around this news, along with the rest of my classmates, the rest of the campus, the rest of the country.

I remember thinking of the president, and then reminding myself matter-of-factly, that President Clinton was no longer in office; President Bush was who I should be thinking of. I reflected that I still wasn't used to the change, and then wondered why I was thinking of that.

We were released from class and I hurried home. I have no memory of whether or not my roommate was there or at what point our friend Kelley staggered into our room. I do know I was still sitting in class sitting in shock and then blinking back tears of confusion, of rage, when the first tower fell. I had made it back to my dorm room in time to see the second tower fall at 9:29 a.m. central standard time.

Kelley and I sat on the futon in my room watching the news all morning and all afternoon, only taking a break to go to our classes that we knew would be canceled. I headed to my novels class knowing it would be canceled but needing to go anyway. Our professor sat at a student's desk with us and asked us what we should do. Someone suggested going to the hospital, one of the major hospitals in the country, and donating blood, but we never made it there. Somehow walking the half mile there was too exhausting. We found out later that they were turning people away anyway because people had donated so much blood and they didn't have enough room to store it.

I met Natalie for our next class over 1920s literature and culture. Our professor staggered in wearing his jeans and sneakers. "We can't have class today. Can you guys sit in class today?" He looked so shell-shocked that I immediately burst into tears. On the way home, we remembered he had family in New York City.

Back in our dorm, I remember Natalie begging us to turn it off; she couldn't watch anymore. Kelley and I ignored her requests and sat on the futon the rest of the afternoon, holding hands and crying in silence.

The next day, there was a moment of silence at the exact time of the first plane hitting the tower. I went to my classes but I no longer have any recollection of what they were.

That day, the 12th, was Natalie's birthday. Her dad was in town and he took us and our two friends, Sara and Jenni, out to dinner. We went to an upscale restaurant, a place that as college students we would never have been able to afford. The most serious thing I thought at dinner was that I wish her dad hadn't ordered red wine for me because I hate it but I didn't want to be rude when he was paying for it. We laughed and talked for close to two hours, and when we stepped outside, it was like getting kicked in the stomach. I felt ashamed and amazed that I had been able to forget about the attacks for so long. After crying for more than 24 hours straight like most of the country, I knew I had needed that break.

We watched New York's senators and Rudy Guiliani speak and cry and pray. We made sure we were all home to watch the fundraising that America's top celebrities were pulling together. Half a nation away, it still consumed our lives.

Like many others across the country, I bought every newspaper and every magazine that could tell me about the attacks, and more importantly, the victims and the survivors. I saved them and store them in a drawer along with newspapers from the days Princess Diana and Mother Teresa died, and the days of my high school and college graduations.

I think of the terrorists nearly every day but sometimes I get worried that I'm forgetting the victims, and in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, I worry that the lives and lessons of 9-11 are too quickly forgotten.

When this happens, I go to my drawer, I pull out the newspapers and magazines, look at the pictures and take myself back.

We remember.

Conversation in class...

Jay: "I know the answer!! I know the answer!!"

Me: "Well, Jay, why don't you share the answer?"

Jay (sitting back in his desk): No, I don't want my group to yell at me. They think I'm an idiot."
(Which is true--they do think he's an idiot, but no one's judging him for it so we're all okay in the knowledge that he is one.)

Ryan: Jay, look around you. Do we look like the type of group that's going to yell?"

Pause as we all look around. I don't know what they see, but I see one 17-year-old boy reclining on a bean bag under a table and ten 17-year-old boys lounging in their desks, heads bent so far forward it almost looks like they're sleeping, mile-long legs stuck out into aisles, candy and pop bottles strewn around their desks, backpacks piled up with mounds of stuff falling out. I think to myself, Oh my God. What a mess this class is. Then I look again and see that they're leaning so far forward because they're looking at textbooks and trying to come up with answers for the review which they are all partaking in to prepare for the test tomorrow. I see that no one is making fun of anyone for stupid answers (and let's face it, there are several). I see the boy in the bean bag hop up every time someone answers to mark a score on the chalkboard. I see that out of their backpacks fall textbooks for my class, free reading books for my class--I see that they came prepared and ready to learn in the best way they know how. I have to respond.

So I pull out my bucket of prizes and ask, "Who wants candy?"

Miss Rixie's Goals for the Upcoming School Year

1. I will leave no child left behind ... except those who blatantly refuse to keep up by not doing their homework, yeah, they're so getting left behind. It's like those kids who won't get back in the car at the rest stop when Dad stops to go to the bathroom, and then he has to drive away to teach Kid a lesson so that it won't happen again. Well, I'll be the one teaching those idiots a lesson: You snooze, you lose ... but beyond that, I will leave no child left behind. Unless they really deserve it. Obviously. Okay, will leave a minimal amount of children behind.

2. Will do a minimal amount of study guides and instead try to find a more engaging way to teach students.

3. Will not allow Scary-Mary from next door to torment me by blazing in the door in all her glory to yell at students to keep noise down and glaring at me from behind her glasses only to mock-apologize the next hour. Will simply explain that I, unlike her, do not choose to teach by making my students keep their noses in their books five days a week without ever discussing what they're reading or doing activities to keep them engaged.

4. Will write a kickin' choral reading script for speech season beginning in November/December. My choral reading kids will not be subjected to Scary-Mary's "I am a better speech coach" attitude because they will be too caught up in what an awesome job they are doing putting it together.

5. Make choral reading more of a student-led event. Instead of having me do everything (write script, figure out poses, etc.) will encourage the kids to figure out how they want to stand, what they want to do, how they will be grouped, etc. Yeah!!

6. Will not allow self to feel intimidated by scary/psycho members of staff such as scary gym teacher who looks me up and down and could be my grandfather (well, a really young grandfather anyway) and Bitchy-Brenda and Bragger Barb and, obviously, Scary-Mary. Will introduce self to new student teacher since I know how it feels to be a young woman on staff in a building full of middle-aged men who haven't been outside small town in last two decades.

7. Be tougher when grading--make my students have to work for it. But also motivate them by doing kicking activities that stretch their critical thinking and application skills.

8. Will concentrate on reading skills and improving reading abilities in classroom by doing research, practicing different reading strategies with students, and generally, becoming Queen of the Reading Pool of Knowledge.

9. Will not allow self to get roped into doing things for other teachers such as stage or technical manager or director, etc. Will be strong and stick to my guns. Will be self-confident and self-assured. Mean what I say and support what I mean.

10. Will kick Iowa Standards and Benchmarks of Teaching in the ass, rock my Individual Career Development Plan into orbit, and make my Reading Strategies rule all. As Esme said, I will kick pedagogical ass.

Miss Rixie Recommends... (3rd Annual Book Review Part II)

1. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling
Weeks after I finished reading it, I cannot stop thinking about it. This is one of those rare books that, when reminiscing about it, I remember the emotions I felt while reading it more specifically than the actual events in the book. What a rare gift to be able to conjure up such powerful emotions in a reader, but Rowling has done just that, and in doing so, Harry joins the likes of Atticus Finch and Jay Gatsby and Anne Shirley.

2. Molly Moon's Incredible Book of Hypnosis by Georgia Bying
While only halfway done with this book, I couldn't resist putting it on the list. There's no other word for it--not only is Molly's book incredible, she's incredible. What a fun heroine!

3. Sing a Song of Tuna Fish by Esme Raji Codell
She never disappoints...

4. Eleven on Top by Janet Evanovich
Hilarious as ever. Evanovich keeps cranking out the Stephanie Plum adventures and, amazingly, they keep living up to their reputation. Miss Rixie recommends reading this one while lying on the beach if at all possible.

5. The Princess Diaries VI by Meg Cabot
This woman is talented!! Read anything by Cabot and you won't be disappointed. I'm convinced she's actually six women posing as one because she cranks out so many books in a year and updates her blog all the time. If only I were one-tenth as productive. Sigh...

Next up on Miss Rixie's reading list:
Dancing in the Dark by Mary Jane Clark
1-800-Where-R-U series by Meg Cabot
Molly Moon Stops the World by Georgia Bying
Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer
Diary of a Fairy Godmother by Esme Raji Codell

Aesthetic Overload

My room is beautiful. I have five rows of desks, each row five deep. My desk is at the front, to the left of where you stand when walking in. I still have my desktop covered in magazine pictures, postcards, notes from students, etc. that make me smile and feel creatively tingly whenever I look at it. The front of my desk, where the students can see is covered in three posters. They say things like “Those who don’t dream, don’t dare” and the like. They’re colorful and brighten up the place. Around my desk I’ve hung little Christmas lights covered in these pastel boxes that I got in college and Natalie and I hung around our lofts. They’re the perfect size. On my computer desk which is next to my regular teacher desk, I’ve put an array of pictures: me, Kim, and Ashley in front of firefighter Herky our senior year; one of Nat and me (it’s actually at a bar, but you can’t tell); one of Kim, Ash, Ro and me on my twenty-first birthday (I’m holding the book [it’s a sex book, but you can’t tell], the picture frame they had engraved for me, and the camera they gave me as presents); and one of Brennan holding Darcy the first day I got her. I look stupid in the one of me and Natty so I’m going to change it, I just never remember. I also have Iowa pom-poms floating leisurely over the corner (I went all out on the Hawkeye—I was going to say merchandise, but propaganda might be a better word.)

Behind my desk our my three file cabinets. This corner was always an area of contention for me last year. It was ugly and plain and the posters were hung crooked. Now I have a beautiful poster of a bookshelf with four shelves. On the top shelf it says “Literary Genres.” On the following three shelves it says things like “Fables,” “Fiction,” “Nonfiction,” and “Drama” with pictures of books and the like. Next to that are two posters—one of Mark Twain and one of Maya Angelou, both hung neatly at an angle. (Never again will I try to hang anything straight!) On my file cabinet I have a lovely license plate that says Iowa Hawkeyes, my 2004 Graduate Beanie Baby, and my IHSSA speech mug that I won last year. On another cabinet, I have little dolls of Mark Twain, Edgar Allan Poe, and Shakespeare (Wills looks really scary, but they’re so fun!) courtesy of my mother. Also courtesy of her are the little finger magnetic puppets I have of Willa Cather (or is it Virginia Woolf? I think it’s Virginia), Shakespeare and Twain again, and Jane Austen. On the last file cabinet I have my hot pink flowery bucket filled with antibacterial handsoap, Bath & Body scented wipes, and lotion. It’s my own personal feel-good, smell-good spa corner.

On the bulletin board directly next to the corner and my computer is my “Ready, Set, Read!” board leftover from last year. It’s covered in bookmarks and I have to say, it’s still one of my favorite bulletin boards. Next to that, on the chalkboard square that’s partially covered by my computer monitor so basically rendered unusable are the 12 “Get Caught Reading” posters I got for $5. I mounted most on construction paper so they look especially beautiful. Around that I strung the Hawkeye lights I got at Iowa Book & Supply, aka Book n Crook, for $20. Whatever, they are worth every penny.

In the back of the room, near the door that leads into Kelli’s room, I covered the first of two bulletin boards with all the pictures of Agatha Christie I made color copies of (and ha laminated) for $25 at Staples. TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS!!! RIP-OFF!! But it looks beautiful—I have to make sure I take a picture. I have an oversized sheet of notebook paper thanks to The Learning Post that I wrote the poem from And Then There Were None on last year. It has to be visible to all the kids because we talk about it every day before and while reading. Surrounding that is a list of every Agatha Christie book she ever wrote (but don’t be picturing a grocery list, it’s really cute with pictures of books drawn on and stuff). Below that are pictures of books made into movies, Christie as a young woman, Miss Marple, Hercule Poirot, and Christie in possible various disguises after her disappearance. I also found 20 different pictures of covers of And Then there Were None on google and printed it on pretty paper and cut with fun scrapbook scissors. Way fun!!

Next to that bulletin board is the another, oversized board that I did last summer as well. It’s my “Oh, the Places You’ll Go” board with pictures of covers of books like The Princess Bride, Holes, Wicked, and The Shawshank Redemption, to name a few. Next to that, I made tags on the computer that tell the places you’ll go, like Florin, Camp Greenlake, Oz, and jail. Also one of my favorites.

Above the chalkboards and bulletin boards on that side of the room, I have five other posters that are all very colorful and say things like, “You look at something and say ‘Why?’ I look at something at say, ‘Why not?’” or something along the lines of that. There’s also my Martin Luther King, Jr. banner and a cool drawing of Stratford-on-Avon someone donated to me and I had laminated. It’s done on scroll-like paper and makes me feel Renaissance-y when I look at it or touch it.

In the back corner of the room, opposite my desk and file cabinets, is my big poster of Mark Twain (which I had laminated and now looks beautiful) with one of my favorite quotes that something to the effect of he was sorry to hear himself named as one of the great writers because they have a habit of dying off. “Chaucer’s gone, Shakespeare’s dead, and I’m not feeling too well myself.” Next to that is another poster, but I can’t actually remember what it is right now. Then there’s the Communications 12 bulletin board which I have my white board we have to use for lesson plans stapled to. My table is there too with close to 250 textbooks piled on and the AR computer which I have done nothing about yet.

Then there’s my closet—pretty much the same as last year. I added Kelli’s “Here is your brain, here is your brain on books” signs and my “Books are the carrier of civilization” sign to the Shakespeare and language posters I have there. Next to my closet is the door to the hallway. I have my favorite poster of all time hanging on the door. It’s a Lord of the Rings poster with a picture of those horses that chase Liv Tyler and rolling across the bottom in flaming words, it says, “Moving words create moving pictures.” How appropriate! Below that is the reading strategy poster—right where no one will ever look at it. Oh well, I could tape it to my forehead and I’m pretty sure no one would read it. Hell, *I* barely I wanted to read it, and I read the nutritional label on cereal boxes at breakfast just so I have something to read.

Kelli donated a “don’t censor yourself” posters with pictures of banned or controversial books (including The Giver) and I hung it next to the poster I have with the word “Read” on it in many different languages including sign language. Actually, come to think of it, that might be my favorite poster.

That’s next to the bulletin board of “Before it was a movie…” where I put pictures of book covers right next to the movie poster it was turned into. For example, there are pictures of the book and movie of Master & Commander and The Princess Bride. My favorites though are: the picture of Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? next to The Odyssey, and the picture of Emma next to Clueless, and 10 Things I Hate about You next to The Taming of the Shrew.

Next to that is the ninth grade chalkboard with their whiteboard where lesson plans go. Above that is a new poster that has suggestions for more descriptive words on it. There’s something else there too, but I can’t remember what. Above the next chalkboard is my READ! banner, and next to that is the poster with the butterfly on it. That’s above where my history will be.

There’s there the most boring bulletin board in my room (well, not counting the communications one): the one with all the charts and stuff to keep track of how much they’re reading. Above it is a poster that says “Don’t forget to read” with a bow around a finger. It’s stupid, but too fitting to toss. On the board there’s a poster with Readers’ Rights. The right to read, to not read, to skip pages, etc. In front of that is where I’m gonna have to keep my TV. Next to it are three posters, one for high school awards, Teen award, and Children’s award. Below those posters is my white bookshelf with series and nonfiction and Miss Acton’s Recommendations on it.

That brings me to the front of the room, my favorite area. When I walk in the door and see that front wall, I just feel happy! There’s my little table (currently covered in piles of papers to be passing out the first two days to my two classes). There are two bookshelves lining the front wall filled with my own books on one shelf, dictionaries on another, Holocaust literature on a third, and then regular the regular fiction takes up the rest of it. Above the first bookshelf are all my Romeo & Juliet posters arranged at an angle and looking very lovely. I also have a poster with instructions on how to check out a book from me. I also have little labels on the bookshelves which are new and done in fun fonts. Then I have one of those spinny bookshelf things where all my mystery/horror/suspense type books are. And then we’re back at my desk and filing cabinets.

I’m sorry, but my room ROCKS!!! As Esme said, I feel bad for any teacher who’s not in here. Wait, Esme totally did not say that. Esme said she feels sorry for any kid not in here. Well, that too, but seriously, have you SEEN the science and math rooms? I would be so depressed if I were in those rooms!! I totally kick!!

Currently reading...

Spent Sunday, Monday, Tuesday re-reading the fourth and fifth Harry Potter books and Wednesday and today reading the sixth, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. Only one word to describe the series and J.K. Rowling: brilliant. My emotions are still bubbling too closely under the surface to really delve in any further. Suffice to say that she is a genius and her works are brilliant on their own and the series is a masterpiece.

Viewing a Room With a View

Freddy: "Why does she always look like that?"
Lucy: "Like what?"
Freddy [imitating Charlotte]: "Charlotte Bartlett"
Lucy: "Because, Freddy, she IS Charlotte Bartlett."
Rupert Graves and Helena Bonham Carter, A Room with a View

Reverend Eager: "Remember the facts about this church of Santa Croce; how it was built by faith in the full fervour of medievalism. "
Mr. Emerson: "Built by faith indeed! That simply means the workers weren't paid properly."
Patrick Godfrey and Denholm Elliot, A Room with a View


I recently found a paper I wrote as a sophomore for a European film class. The paper is over one of my favorite movies of all time, the Ivory Merchant classic A Room with a View. Here it is in all its glory--but be warned, it's looong!


A Room with a View on View

Many people expect the Ivory Merchant production masterpiece, A Room with a View, to be a stuffy period film or simply a romance. These people are missing what the film actually is; a brilliantly-adapted social commentary of British middle-class sensibilities and the effect the rigid social structure has on a young girl struggling to find her identity. The film focuses on the themes of British national identity, social structure, and the effects of these on marriage within a small group of travelers in Italy. This heritage film, like many Ivory Merchant productions, is rich in culture and landscape which illuminate the contrasts between the two nations in the film, Italy and England. In this paper, I will be closely analyzing this story of middle class romance between a young woman caught up in the world of the British social structure unable to free herself, and the young man who’s own sense of freedom is, for her, a room with a view.

The film is centered around the implications that are illuminated through the contrast of Italy and Britain. A Room with a View opens at an Italian boarding house full of English travellers, and later moves to England where the characters spend a large portion of their time reminiscing of what happened in Italy and comparing British life to Italian life. The countries serve as foils for each other. England is painted as rigid, with a strict social structure, while Italy is depicted as more relaxed with room for the intermingling of different classes. The construction of national identity for each country is seen through the narrative construction, visual elements, and the individual characters, specifically the heroine Lucy Honeychurch.

One way the narrative is constructed is through the subdivisions of the film. The film looks like literature on film because it is divided into “chapters.” Each chapter is proceded by a title telling us critical information. “Lucy as a Work of Art” tells us that her fiance does not really value her company, but rather values her as something to admire and show off. The chapter titles“Lying to George,” “Lying to Cecil,” “Lying to Mr. Emerson,” “Lying to Mr. Beebe, Mrs. Honeychurch, Freddy, and the Servants,” show us that by lying to practically every character in the film, Lucy’s also lying to herself. These “chapter” titles give us insight to the characters and their viewpoints, especially Lucy Honeychurch.

Lucy is caught between the life she wants and the life she feels she should want. The life she feels she should want is waiting at home for her in England. In England is a man, Cecil Vyse, who has proposed marriage to her more than once. Each time previous, she has refused him, but when she comes home from Italy, she accepts. Lucy has been changed by her visit to Italy; something happened to make her change her mind. It is in Italy that she first got a taste of the life she actually wants. Somewhere in Italy she fell in love with George Emerson, a young man who, according to his father and traveling companion, “has brains but is very muddled.” George is very much like Lucy except he shows the emotions he’s feeling while Lucy represses them so as not to cause a stir. George is too serious and too melancholy for his good, according to his father. Mr. Emerson seems convinced that Lucy could make George brood and worry less, and look at life with a lighter heart. While Lucy likes both Emersons, she is well aware of the audacity Mr. Emerson has to approach her with this idea when he barely knows her. The Emersons are a middle class family. The significant thing about them is that they possess no concept of social structures. In their eyes, everyone is equal. They don’t see what everyone else sees, and that is that even within the middle class, society is highly stratified. Because the Emersons are unaware of this, the people around them look down upon them, and consequently, they become socially inferior even within the middle class. Lucy recognizes that other people feel this way and it troubles her. She also understands that Mr. Emerson has raised his son to be like himself; kind, feeling, and generous, but with a bit of impropriety and lack of judgment.

Despite his impropriety, Lucy is attracted to George. When George spontaneously kisses her while a large group from the hotel are out and about, Lucy is at first swept away. It is only later when under the influence of her chaperon and cousin, Charlotte Bartlett that she realizes she should be upset over the kiss because she has been taken advantage by society’s standards. It is only because she realizes that by society’s standards, she should be upset that she gets so. She realizes while in Italy that Mr. Emerson and George do things for other people out of kindness despite what social norms are. They do not pay attention to what is proper and what is not, they simply try to help any way they can. Furthermore, Mr. Emerson cannot grasp the reason some people (such as Miss Bartlett) do not understand this and why others do not do the same thing. Despite her attraction and innate similarity to George’s character, she suppresses her romantic desire for him. Instead she accepts a marriage proposal from a man back in England who talks of equality within classes but in reality is a terrible snob. In fact, when they return to England Lucy’s fiance, Cecil Vyse, invites the Emersons to stay in a nearby cottage to teach a lesson to the landlord. Cecil does this because although the Emersons are middle-class, their lack of British sensibilities makes them decidedly lower in social rank and the landlord is well-known for his snobbery. Cecil wants the landlord to get vulgar tenants to punish him for his snobbery. Cecil tells Lucy that this landlord, Sir Harry, stands for all that is wrong with this country. The implication of what Cecil is saying is that in London Sir Harry would be kept in his place, but down here in the country, with all its freshness, he throws his gentility and his patronage around and the worst of all is that everyone, including Lucy’s mother, is taken in. The irony is Cecil sees them as vulgar and doesn’t understand that he is perpetuating the class system through his thinking, despite his act of “generosity” when he recommended the Emersons for Sir Harry’s cottage. He believes himself to be superior to them, and furthermore, doesn’t even care for them much. In fact, the only person he does like is Lucy, which I will analyze more closely later on. He also puts up with the vicar, Mr. Beebe, who was with Lucy in Italy.

The contrast of Lucy’s relationship with George in Italy versus her relationship with Cecil in England shows two separate national identities. George is clearly an embodiment of what Italy is supposed to represent in this film. The brooding George is able to let go of his worries when he is in the out of doors of Italy. At such moments, he abandons his broodings and is able to simply feel. At one point, amidst the breathtaking landscape, he yells his creed, “Beauty, joy, love!” This is a powerful moment because while the other characters are gossiping of what is happening back in England, the sound of George’s voice yelling his creed because of all that he sees in Italy, is heard throughout. Moments later, the sight of Lucy against the backdrop of Italian landscape sweeps him away, and this is when he kisses her. He had been standing amidst a field of wildflowers and is overcome by his emotions so he passionately releases it to Lucy. The implication of this is that it was the free-spiritedness that Italy inspires that motivated George to do this.

By contrast, Cecil is a representation of England or at least English sensibilities. Cecil is a prudish bore, more interested in ideas than experiences. He says of himself, “Some people are better suited for books,” than actions. He speaks of noble causes like the equality of classes and democracy, but as Lucy tells him, he doesn’t know what the words mean. Cecil is the exact opposite of George. The one time he chooses to show Lucy emotion, it is as completely opposite of George’s expression of emotion as possible. Cecil asks to kiss her while they are standing near a pond in a small woods. He is all done up with his hair neatly combed and his pince-nez in place. He is in sharp contrast to the natural setting around him. The actual kiss is awkward and embarrassing for both the characters and the audience as Lucy is more forward than Cecil, expecting greater things from her previous experience. Afterwards, Cecil comments she always seems uncomfortable with him outside and Lucy responds that he’s right. When she thinks of him, she always pictures him within a room. The implication of this is that George’s sense of freedom is like a room with a view. George has physical responsibilities but he is idealogically free because of his views. Cecil however, is boxed in. He has ideas of freedom but would actually be quite uncomfortable if there was no class structure. Cecil spends much of his time thinking about the class structure and how it is wrong and what he needs to do about it. He is so focused on the issue, he never actually does anything about it because he spends the rest of his time passing judgments on others. George on the other hand, never thinks of it at all. It is not an issue to him. Everyone is equal in his eyes. Lucy is caught in the middle of these two views. When Cecil tells her that even Mrs. Honeychurch is taken in by Sir Harry and his snobbery, Lucy can’t help but wonder if it really matters. Cecil’s mind is closed off like a room while George is open-minded like a room, but one with an inspiring view. As Cecil and Lucy leave the small pond, Lucy has flashbacks to the scene in the great outdoors of Italy when George kissed her. As she’s reflecting, she comments to Cecil that every person they met in Italy was extraordinary. Cecil could not know that this was the most intimate conversation that the two had ever and would ever share.

Besides the narrative and landscape, the construction of Italy comes through visual elements such as the landmarks around Florence. The film’s most significant landmark in Italy becomes a loggia in the middle of a Piazza. As Lucy is sight-seeing among familiar Italian monuments, a brawl erupts among several Italian men near the Loggia. One of the men becomes seriously injured. The fight attracts many others, and a camera shot from above shows Italian flocking to the injured man straining for a closer glimpse, like sharks are attracted to blood. The man dies and the scene turns absolutely chaotic; the police arrive and handcuff the assaulter while others cart the dead body away. Before this happens, Lucy catches a glimpse of blood pouring from the man’s mouth and faints. George happens to be nearby, catches her and carries her away from the Loggia. Later, when she expresses embarrassment over her release of emotions though fainting, George tells her he nearly fainted himself. These statements contradict what most Italians in the scene were shown doing. They wanted to get closer and be a part of the action while the English wanted to get away. Lucy summarizes this by saying, “Italians can be so lovable and so kind, yet so violent.” This comment is said as if it was true only of Italians, and furthermore, that is was true of all Italians. The implications of this scene are that while England is clearly very civilized, Italy is chaotic and uncivil.

In this way Italy is depicted as more primitive. The people are a part of nature; they feel it. They release their passions and emotions while the British hold them in. The British are too caught up in what is “proper” to truly feel life. At one point Mr. Emerson calls Lucy a “poor girl” because he recognizes she has the ability to truly enjoy life, yet she doesn’t because she is too busy making niceties and being British, the way Britishness is constructed in the film. She responds indignantly, “Poor girl? I think I’m a very fortunate girl.” The implications of this scene are very clear. She is traveling in Italy, yet rarely does she allow herself to feel Italy; it is easier for her to repress her true feelings so she doesn’t step out of line or shock anyone.

One of the first shots we see of England is a garden party celebrating Lucy’s engagement to Cecil. Cecil is disturbed by all the fuss and comments that “it’s barbaric.” His description of an engagement party as barbaric contrasts completely with the actual barbaric fight scene by the Loggia. Italy becomes even more primitive while enhancing the intensity of the British class system and the accepted ways to behave.

What makes Lucy Honeychurch the heroine is her inner struggle with the accepted ways to behave. Her struggle between these two ways of life is resolved when she accepts her self-identity and responsibility to make her own decisions. While in Italy, the reverend Mr. Beebe, after hearing Lucy play Beethoven on the piano tells her that he has a pet theory about her. Her piano playing is passionate and emotional while she’s living her life as Charlotte Bartlett and the rest of proper British society think it should be lived, sensibily and quietly. The piano, however, is the one place where her true passion can be showed. Mr. Beebe’s theory is that one day music and life will mingle. It is only after playing Beethoven that the viewers can feel they see the real Lucy. In fact, Mrs. Honeychurch prefers for Lucy not to play Beethoven because it makes her peevish. We see this several times throughout the film; it is Beethoven that she has been playing when she decides to go for a walk by herself and finds herself at the Loggia. Had she not gotten herself riled up by playing, she never would have there to see the fight. As a musician it is acceptable for her to express her passion. One day, Mr. Beebe feels, she won’t need the Beethoven to release her, she will be able to find it in life.

Mr. Emerson sees this quality in Lucy also, as does another guest Eleanor Lavish. Miss Lavish is a romance novelist and tells Miss Bartlett that Lucy would be the ideal heroine because of her innate passion. The interesting part, according to Miss Lavish, is that Lucy has yet to meet the someone who will open her up. Charlotte is upset with this idea and spends much of her time restraining Lucy. She puts barriers between Lucy and George, afraid George will influence her to forget her “Britishness.” Charlotte works her own influence over Lucy, convincing Lucy that she is merely one of his “exploits.” Lucy is embarrassed that she was taken advantage of this way and sees that this “courtship” is improper according to British sensibilities. Therefore, she accepts Cecil’s marriage proposal. However, despite Charlotte’s attempts, George still seems to have the same effect on Lucy that Beethoven does, and slowly Mr. Beebe’s theory begins to come true. Lucy does her best to squelch her instincts and act “properly” but she becomes riled up every time he is near her. The audience feels a strong connection to George because he is able to pull the real Lucy out of the world of British sensibilities.

Part of Lucy’s struggle to find her own self-identity is that she tries to embrace both the primitivism and restrain it. She comments that as a little girl she enjoyed swimming in a nearby pond and her brother Freddy is constantly attacking her and wrestling her to the ground, which she seems to enjoy. This type of behavior, from Cecil’s point-of-view, would be all right for a child, even a girl. But as Lucy grows into a woman, she must succumb to British sensibilities. Lucy knows that this is what is expected from her so she lies to everyone around her and continues to say she loves Cecil. She perpetuates her own constraint. Even after she has admitted to herself that she loves George, she will not admit it to him she cannot shake her British sensibilities.

The implication of this story of middle-class is that even the people with the deepest of British sensibilities instilled in them, such as Charlotte, want the society and the social structure to change. Charlotte fought Lucy and George on the surface, by keeping them apart, but yet she hoped for them. She kept their connection alive by pestering Lucy about George and what happened between them in Italy. It was Charlotte who, in the end, realized the error of her ways, and cornered Lucy into talking to Mr. Emerson. Charlotte realized that only Mr. Emerson, with no sense of social hierarchy, could force Lucy to see things clearly. Mr. Emerson told her, “You’re in a muddle” and made her see that it was George was muddled her and it was George who could unmuddle her. To become unmuddled, she needed to rid herself of her societal restraints and the only way to do this was to listen to herself. In the end she realizes that George is nearly the only person around her who doesn’t want to restrain her. He wants her to have her own thoughts and feelings, and make her own decisions. Whereas Cecil wants her to be a Leonardo or some other painting, George wants her to be real.

Through Lucy’s traveling in Italy, she sees that life has more to offer than the sensibilities of middle-class Britain. She does not have an easy time fighting her own instincts to let go of these decorous customs and live like she saw Italians living, but with the help of many around her, she does. She rejects a life with Cecil where she would be an object to admire and accepts responsibility for her life by marrying George who can only offer his wish for her to keep her own identity and his sense of freedom which reminds her of a room with a view. The film shows this through the construction of narrative, visual elements, and analysis of individual characters. The effect is a masterpiece.

Miss Rixie Recommends or The 3rd Annual Book Review

1. No Place Like Home by MHC
Despite the fact that Ms. Clark had four or five children and a handful of grandchildren, she (or any other author currently writing) does not seem to understand what children are ACTUALLY LIKE (children don't pick up on things like Mommy being upset or the fact that Mommy was crying an hour ago if Mommy is doing her best to hide it. Hell, they won't pick up on it if Mommy is doing her WORST to hide it. Children don't realize Mommies experience things outside of their children). This complaint, however, is the worst one I have about No Place like Home, Mary Higgins Clark's most recent bestseller. This suspenseful novel was reminiscent of Clark's golden age--Remember Me; Loves Music, Loves to Dance; etc. Highly recommended!!

2. Dating Is Murder by Harley Jane Kozak
Last summer I recommended HJK's first novel, Dating Dead Men, and said I couldn't wait for Wollie's next adventure (despite the fact that her heroine's name is Wollie). This second novel is proving to be just as engaging and original as her first.

3. Murderers Prefer Blondes by Amanda Matetsky
One of the best and most original books I have read in years. Matetsky's heroine has much to suffer through starting with the fact that it's 1954 and she's a working woman in a man's world. Couple that with the fact that her (married) name is Paige Turner and she has to take lots of grief about it from her male co-workers without being able to stand up for herself or she'll be fired. With a beatnik best friend as a sidekick, the heroine is modern without being over-the-top, and the plot is refreshingly original. The tone is informal without being cutesy, the situations are believable without making our heroine pathetic, and most importantly of all, Matetsky doesn't have to try too hard. Beautiful! Miss Rixie also recommends: Murder is a Girl Best Friend's also by Amanda Matetsky and anything by Tamar Myers

4. Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
Your brother insists everyone call him The Rooster, including his business clients. Your sister dresses up in a fat suit and makes up her face to look like a punching bag to pull one over on her father. While living in Paris, you sign up for French lessons hoping to one day be able to talk pretty. Welcome to the colorful and electric, slightly off-kilter world of David Sedaris. Miss Rixie also recommends: Dress Your Family in Curduroy and Denim, also by Sedaris. More essays about his family, including his brother The Rooster.

5. Every Boy Has One by Meg Cabot
The third and final book in Cabot's NY Tribune series, this novel is (loosely) based on Meg Cabot's own wedding experience with enough twists and unlucky happenstances to keep the reader intrigued (and laughing). Cabot has again struck gold with her originality--the novel is written through emails, telephone conversations, instant messenger, and journal entries between characters--never in dialogue, making it a fast, easy, and enjoyable read. In her last several books, Cabot has climbed to the top of Miss Rixie's list of favorite authors where she resides with greats like Mary Higgins Clark, Janet Evanovich, and Jennifer Crusie.

6. Persuading Annie by Melissa Nathan
An updated, modern version of Jane Austen's Persuasion, Persuading Annie maintains the charm of the original while adding more spunk and sparkle to the characters. Nothing will ever top Nathan's other Austen update Pride, Prejudice, and Jasmin Field, but Persuading Annie runs a close second. Miss Rixie also recommends: pride, Prejudice and Jasmin Field, of course, and Nathan's original novel, The Nanny.

Boys vs. Girls: the Continuing Story

Brennan: When I was getting my hair cut yesterday, the lady told me I should use conditioner to counteract the chlorine from the pool. ... Rix?
Me: Yeah?
Brennan: What's conditioner?
Me: It's moisturizer ... for you hair. You know, lotion?
Brennan: YES, I KNOW WHAT MOISTURIZER IS NOW. SHUT UP!
Me [snickering]: I didn't say anything...

Boys versus Girls

Monday morning after teaching three hours plus of swimming lessons, my younger brother and I stagger home exhausted. We flip a coin to see who gets to shower first (he wins; I make him promise to hurry and threaten him with a torturous death as only an older sister can if he's not fast) and he hops in. A half an hour later, after I'm out and dressed, he knocks on my bedroom door.

Brennan: Rix?
Me: Yeah?
Bren: Can I come in? I need to ask you something.
Me: What's up?
Bren: There's something wrong with my skin. I've washed my face, like, eight times, but my skin feels all dry and ...
Me: Tight?
Bren: Yes! Exactly!
Me: Hold out your hand.
He obliges. I dump enough lotion in his hand to cover his entire body.
Me: Now rub on your face.
He closes his eyes and rubs as if his hands were a towel and a bucket of water had just been dumped on his head.
Me: Better?
Bren: Wow!...It feels better already. Oh my God...that's amazing! How did you know what was wrong?
Me: Well, your skin was dry because you spend three hours a day in a pool with enough chlorine to kill even the most resistant strains of bacteria and then you come home and you wash your face eight times. Write this down: water dries out your skin.
Bren: What??? That doesn't make ANY sense.
Me: Be that as it may...


Two days later as we're goofing around in the pool waiting for our next swimming lesson to start, I tell this story to another lifeguard, Chelsea, in the presence of Brennan:

Me: Isn't it amazing what a boy with two sisters can still miss out on?? I mean, the boy didn't know he needed MOISTURIZER to make his skin stop feeling DRY.
Bren: What's moisturizer?
Chelsea: It's lotion.
Bren: Oh, lotion. ... I used lotion once. On my hands. I can't remember why.
Chelsea and I watch in dumbfounded amazement as he swims away.

Boys.

7th Hell

Me: Mom, will you get me an ice cream bar?
Mom: No.

[Later]
Mom: Who was talking about the TV show 7th Heaven earlier? Now I have the theme song in my head.
Me: You know the theme song to 7th Heaven ? HA-HA!!! That's God punishing you for not getting me an ice cream bar earlier. ...Who on EARTH knows the theme song to 7th Heaven and hasn't yet committed suicide?
Mom: Well, I tape Gilmore Girls everyday and when I get home from work, I rewind the tape. 7th Heaven is on right after GG , so I'm stuck listening to it.
Me: Why, because the rewind button is the only one that works on your remote?
Mom: Well, what do *you* suggest?
Me: TBS where they are playing Seinfeld reruns at that time.
Mom: I hate Seinfeld.
Me:

[Ten minutes later]
Me: What do you mean you hate Seinfeld ? You always used to watch it.
Mom: I hate it.
Me: What are you TALKING about? You like Seinfeld.
Mom: I have a rule with myself where if I turn the TV on and Seinfeld 's on, I have to change the channel before anyone speaks.
Me: But what about Must-See-TV night that we all watched every Thursday all the time I was in high school??? You liked it then! Mom...
Mom: Nope.
Me: I swear you makes these things up just to make sure I'm still listening to you.
[She begins to read and ignore me.]

Me [Ten minutes later, unable to let this go]: I think we've lost sight of what that conversation was about. So Seinfeld is worse than 7th Heaven ?
Mom [Horrified]: NOOO!!!! [Pause] Well, yeah.
Me: [Several octaves higher than usual]: WHAT?!?
Mom: I would never actually watch 7th Heaven.
Me: And yet you know the theme song.
Mom: [Singing the theme song]: 7th heaven...

The Tonys...soon to be renamed The Norbert & Michelles OR The Idina & Tayes--Vote today!!

Rixie & Tara's List of Fabulous Moments During the 2005 Tonys:

Taye 'n' Idina

Norbert and Michelle Federer = BFF!!!!!

Sara Ramirez thanking Claritin

Norbert Leo Butz 'n' John Lithgow hugging

Hugh Jackman saying he got a "look from my wife"

Spamalot performance
Spelling Bee performance (as in"That is correct." "I KNOW.")

Norbert Leo Butz "getting the joke"
Sherie Rene Scott CRYING
"I have always breathed out of one nostril and tonight WAS NO EXCEPTIOOOOON!"
Hot guy from Spelling Bee singing to Al Sharpton
Hot guy from Piazza looking hot
HUGH JACKMAN DANCING!!!!!
Norbert and Michelle Federer = BFF!!!!!
Norbert 'n' John Lithgow hugging
Discovering that Sara Ramirez pronounces "Sara" cool and ethnic

Okay, I know those last two were repeats, but seriously, who can blame me????

I'm looking over this list and realizing that we've forgotten the two most obvious choices (and I mean, really, the whole point in watching):
1. NORBERT LEO BUTZ WINNING
2. SARA RAMIREZ WINNING ... YEAH, BABY!!


I bet you're wishing you watched it, aren't you???